Another note on Freedom, remarks on people’s doubt, goals and intentions for my life and the world
Speaking plainly is a gift, and a gift that is appreciated by all. There may be more beauty and insight to be found in nuanced writing like metaphor or story, but from time to time the blunt truth has to be spoken. This is one of those times: I find myself putting pen to paper in a time of heart ache. I’ve seen a lot of loss in my life. Enough for me to hesitate about whether I should write anything at all anymore. All the hours and energy I’ve spent showing up to the page, trying to create something that hopefully has some meaning to it. All the claims, statements, stories, rants and raves, and plenty more in between… and yet, I’ve found that some of my writing has caused more pain than I ever could have thought possible. Maybe my most cherished gift, my tool to connect and progress, I can possibly say has yielded more pain and turmoil for me to this point. Albeit, it’s probably less the gift, and more so some of the outlets that the gift was invested in. Then again, there is always magic woven and intertwined throughout our passions. And whether my gift has fallen short of its mark or not to this point, every word, every comma, every period at the end of a sentence, every choice and note and each little sprinkle of magic that comes with a gift like this vibrates and shines way beyond that precious moment of creativity when pen meets the page. It ripples and soars throughout eternity, throughout the infinite in the sky and makes in its wake something that is beyond words or understanding. Something incalculable that belongs to us, that sets us free, that conjoins us with something we can only call God, and is absolutely priceless. Our passions, our gifts, always matter. They always carry undefinable value. And they always speak to that thing, that truth, that essence, that slight and immortal whisper in the center of our being that is pure goodness and perfect love that at any whim can send us soaring up a mountain or flying amongst the clouds. Where are gifts go, where they might take us, if they ever land or not, or what they truly say and to whom do they speak, I don’t know if that’s something we can ever actually know, or if words and language can ever possibly tell of the miracle that it all is, but one thing that is most certain is they are not futile. Not at all. But to say it plainly and be blunt about it, it hasn’t come stress-free, and at least at the moment, it doesn’t appear to me quite as brilliant and vibrant as I’d like. Although, words are something that don’t go dim…
And the same can said about what I’m looking at with all that’s going on in this world today. We’re given this gift, this thing called life, and we’re at each other’s throats with carving out a piece for ourself, or perhaps even maintaining something that is false predicated on the lies of cowards and cheats that don’t really give a shit about you at all. Your life might be a tragedy like mine looks at the moment, but that simply isn’t how it really is. My gift, like the gifts we all have in our individual lives, is meant for those things like progress and connection…to go deeper, and to see more clearly what is really Real. That’s what we’re suppose to do. It’s not the gift that needs to stand fire. It’s how we use the gift, how we care for and respect what it is meant for, and ultimately how we invest it that will make the difference. That’s how we push back and reclaim what is truly ours. If human beings lived in solidarity with each other with deep reverence and meaning for what we truly are at our core and what is meant for us being on this planet with all the gifts and wonders bestowed on us, then the barriers and institutions would have no choice but to concede to its constituents, making us the authors of the world at large. Nothing more. Nothing less. The authors and mongers of hate and division, the corrupt politicians, the phony fabricated role models, the detached “money makers”, the talk show idols who… surprise surprise_ don’t really care at all, the meddlesome behind the scenes criminals and cowards, wouldn’t have any ammunition to load if we truly knew who we were and what we’re suppose to be. That as it is, until then, the best bet we have as an individual and as a collective species is to try to build and create our own individual world with as much love and goodness and all the light that is as possible. Who knows, maybe if enough of us do so we can form a club, a faculty of sorts, that can combat some of the insanity that runs ramped today.
Then again, I could be wrong. I could just be pissed that I can’t go to school unless I get vaccinated for some over politicized hysteria that in all likelihood is an unnatural and fabricated cue. Maybe I’m pissed how politicized and gross a pandemic is where people have died has been where there is yet to be a genuine and true revolution in the name of Love and God that leads us under one heading into new levels of standard and practice that speaks to the absolute best of us. No wait, I take that back… I saw so many celebrities tweeting about the importance of wearing a mask, and complying to social distance regulations… I guess it could be my experience with disgusting and disturbed Hollywood nonsense, only for it to turnout that I was right all along. I’m not going to spend much time highlighting and describing where and who and what. If you look around at the world today, and you don’t see where it needs help… the mediocrity, the hate, the division, the lack of sound and moral global leadership, the almost systematic way people are being screwed over and diminished everyday… the fucking evil… then bless you for having an asshole that smells as pretty as it must with how far up in it your head is. You’re blessed if you don’t have to deal with the downfalls of the world regularly. But you’re a blind and ignorant fool if you aren’t looking how to help, or what you can offer to the mass of society, and you don’t see the need. Great leaders and thinkers throughout time have made it their duty to make a contribution to this world and to overall human progress. It’s not only their duty, but a privilege that they are/were probably extremely grateful for. That’s why we’re all able to find a quote from somebody or other that we love. Imagine if Aristotle, Plato, or Socrates had no ambition for their fellow man, and just wanted to satisfy their own carnal and fleshy appetites. Or if they looked around, and said: fuck it; I’m gonna get mine, and screw everything else. Imagine if they had a brand they had to manage, or if facebook and twitter were their outlets, or if they had the CIA looking over them, or if they had so much money they could no longer understand basic humanity, or if they were so low and full of hate that all they cared about was themselves and they were willing to do whatever it took to distract them from their own emptiness. Imagine if they conformed to a culture that fostered and incentivized cheap, arrogant, fake, stupid, and evil. There’s a reason why the greats are not that, or apart of anything like it. Imagine if John Lennon or Bob Dylan had something called a “squad.” There’s a reason why the greats are not that, and don’t have anything to do with shit like that.
There’s also a reason why the devil, for a lack of a better way of putting it, or these kind of ways, is a loser. Nothing great was ever achieved by banking on a system, and preying on people through that system. No winner ever gained by stooping to the level of a maggot and then claiming “victory.” When we look at the make-up of a man, and the make-up of the world, they should fit together. One should not have to thrive by forgoing the other. And the sum of which should be something that is noble and good… that represents the best of us. Just like prosperity and advancement should not have to be at the expense of something, or especially someone else. Humanity is gone when we begin conditioning our youth in a reality like that, where you have to be overtly strong, you have to be ruthless, you have to be self-oriented, you have to be cunning, you have to “not care,” you have to be “savage.” Or even to think that way is a positive way, like to slay something is cool, something to be applauded. Like a 12 year old who on a daily basis has to go through the pressure and process of deciding which of their friend’s or classmate’s things they “like,” and which they don’t. It’s cheap. It’s a cheapening process, stripping the substance out of connections and relationships and replacing it with garbage; with impersonal and superficial bonds, with lust, jealousy, addiction, false expectations, warped propaganda-based realities, and countless other destructive, fake, unscrupulous devices and practices that we might be building and forming our lives with. A relationship shouldn’t be contingent on something that has no bearing when you’re actually looking each other in the eye, or something that can be replaced by the next thing that pops up. Being close with someone on social media is like having a favorite pornstar. It’s typically just all about the way you help me get off on myself. Life must be based on what’s real. Things like integrity, morality, altruism, honor, dignity, and love. And Life must dictate the world. Not the other way around. The world should be a vessel we take care of and are in harmony with, not a governing agent. And it is our responsibility to make sure our lives live up to a standard that is based in REAL substance, and that we build a world that does the same. Rather than one that promotes the cheap, fake, and disgraceful.
I’ve worked out more in the last few months than I have the last 5 years combined. I’m tired and eager. Maybe I’m acting sorta like a little girl, but for the time being, I’m not gonna tolerate anything less than the Truth and what’s Real. I’m tired of all this crap. The world I already have and the world I hope to see have too much LIFE in them for me to worry about people who aren’t interested in what is best for myself, and the collective at large. The idea of unlimited potential has been with me forever. It is nothing new. The idea of true freedom is when you are no longer intimidated of the person you’re suppose to be, and of what you’re capable of. That idea has been brewing for a long time, and I think it’s finally settling. And for all the people that like to tell me I can’t do something, I absolutely love all of you. I’ve learned so much about myself over the years, but one thing that has never changed is my urge to not only do what is right, but what is best. And what is best for me, right now, is to focus on myself, and my love for what could and is meant to be. Anyone that would like to question my loyalty, or who I am, or what I’m about, well I’d like to question the ground you stand on, because I have been there and I have done that. When I was a kid, I used to think I would change the world. I think it’s about time I knew why. But right now I’m not interested in associating with anyone that either don’t have a clue, or have gotten so wrapped up in the goodie bags you’ve been given that you’ve lost touch with why certain things matter more than little hidden bonuses. Frankly some of you should just move out of the way, and the rest of you, go ahead and stick up those dooks, and get freaking ready. I am coming after everybody and everything. I’m not going to change the world this week, I’m going to inspire it.